he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
