This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
