Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
