The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
