Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize