As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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