He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
