you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
