First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
