so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
