used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
