Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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