Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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