Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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