he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
