I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
