why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
