What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
