its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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