Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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