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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
