yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
