he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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