Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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