it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I forget how to act sober
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
