How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
