ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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