I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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