I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
