I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My nipple is on Facebook.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
