If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
