Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize