need another drink. this is the easiest way
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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