she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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