I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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