have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
BRING THE BAGELS
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
