their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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