So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
