You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
two words: eviction party
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
