You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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