sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Randomize
