so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
