More tranny stories later!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I need a beard to bite.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
