Kiss
Puke
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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