I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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