hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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