Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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