u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
