also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
