Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
