It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
