Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
