Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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