Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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