pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
