I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
