literally had 100 drinks last night.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
