If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize