I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
