Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
