Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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