The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
