why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
