I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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