You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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