Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
