Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
accomplished twins. life is a go
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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