Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
