Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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