PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize