Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
