My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize