I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
