you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
