Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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