i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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