Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
